Monday, May 18, 2009

"Do you want to come away with me into the pitch black pool?" And i said, "i don't know, i don't know, i don't know..."

Deerhunter - Vox Humana

[Weird Era Cont.]

Black fingernails, double entendres as if you don't know how to be straightforward anymore. I dropped your drink on purpose cause I'd love to see you get angry with me - but you're still fucking ambivalent even in anger. And so I drank twice as much until your charming voice sounded like charms and I was reciting our entire history in my head while our sides were touching and you laughed at my friends, not with them. You think you're pretty clever don't you boy.

And my parents want to know what's wrong. Because my head is so scattered I'm still a wreck even in the shining sun after sleeping for fourteen hours straight. And there's a nice boy who likes me and things could be nice. But I can't look twice at him. Because when I haven't spoken to you in a couple of days I feel like I'm going insane. Because I remember you trying to taste the music off my favourite record and then grinning at me. I remember secret pathways through the neighbours and I remember one pair of stupid jeans. I remember laughing like a lunatic at all the lunatics we see that no one else can. And the single ladies stomp and always dancing and laughing and grinning. And the way you used to shake when you saw me, passing me CDs but not anymore. I think you asked me once. I don't know.

Brisbane! Deerhunter are coming to the Zoo on June 13th, I know right? Best news ever! I'm expecting this to be my favourite night of the year, from one of my favourite bands.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I have your blood inside my heart

I was in a car accident on Monday. The most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, the car racing along at 110km/h on a motorway bounced off one car and slammed into the cement divider, rolling and rolling. The moment of impact is all I can see when I close my eyes, red light on red skin, blinding pain, smoke filling the contracting space in almost slow motion and the complete certainty that after all the wondering at what death would be like, there's no time to even consider there's just certainty that this is it. Just a voice saying, "Prepare yourself, don't even dare close your eyes." Suddenly stopping with wide eyes looking anywhere but at who was next to me, because I. Just. Can't. It stained my skin purple. It stained all my thoughts with fear. It stained my peaceful self confidence with panic and shaking limbs. It'll be a few days till I'm on my feet again.