I was in a car accident on Monday. The most terrifying thing that has ever happened to me, the car racing along at 110km/h on a motorway bounced off one car and slammed into the cement divider, rolling and rolling. The moment of impact is all I can see when I close my eyes, red light on red skin, blinding pain, smoke filling the contracting space in almost slow motion and the complete certainty that after all the wondering at what death would be like, there's no time to even consider there's just certainty that this is it. Just a voice saying, "Prepare yourself, don't even dare close your eyes." Suddenly stopping with wide eyes looking anywhere but at who was next to me, because I. Just. Can't. It stained my skin purple. It stained all my thoughts with fear. It stained my peaceful self confidence with panic and shaking limbs. It'll be a few days till I'm on my feet again.